Saturday, January 11th
I would binge on porn for several hours, hoping my partner wouldn’t catch me.
Some of us have experienced long periods of unmanageability with porn. Today’s digital technology enables us to create a fantasy world in which immediate gratification is always available.
Pornographic images create fantasies of pleasure far beyond what we can realistically construct in our lives. These fantasies create false expectations, set us up for disappointment, and damage our ability to connect with others who can never compete with our imagined scenarios. We may think of sex with a real person as scary and unpredictable, and we check out mentally into fantasy where it feels safer.
We may also experience euphoric recall in looking at pornography. Or we might feel the impulse to search for new sensations by viewing “edgier” images — perhaps illicit or violent scenes.
When we attend meetings, we hear others share their struggles and successes in dealing with pornography and realize there is hope. By working the Steps and Tools, we gain insight that helps us change our behaviors and expand our lives. We can fully experience our feelings without the compelling, urgent need to escape them. We learn to separate fantasy from reality in life and intimate relationships.
We no longer need to numb our feelings and lose ourselves in hours of isolation.