July 16th Meditation: Impatience with Slow Progress

Tuesday, July 16th

I wanted to join SCA, stay a few months, then leave! I’m glad I stayed.

In our compulsion, many of us sought instant gratification. We might have fretted, lost patience, and perhaps blown up at others if we did not get our way, sexually or otherwise. After joining SCA, we may have become frustrated at the slowness of our recovery, wishing we could finish the Steps in a few months and then “Presto: we’re cured!”

The recovery process is not just a linear series of exercises or tests to see if we can achieve sobriety. Rather, recovery is a journey of personal growth, which for many of us includes resuming the “growing up” we had put on hold when we first began our earliest acting out.

Working the first three Steps can enable us to trust a Higher Power of our choosing while letting go of the need to control our compulsion. We begin to understand how our Higher Power can help us grow spiritually, not just stop us from acting out.

Making the journey involves a commitment to honesty, patience, and fearlessness. We found the courage to begin when we attended our first meeting. Taking inventory, asking for help, restoring relationships, and learning compassion are ways we can develop serenity and lasting sobriety.

Recovery is a lifetime journey that brings many gifts.

July 15th Meditation: On Humility

Monday, July 15th

Humility is part of letting go.

Many of us thought of humility as humiliation, which we associated with shame, embarrassment, and a sense of low self-worth. Frequently, our deep-seated shame was a root cause of acting out our sexual compulsions, and this feeling could lead to perfectionism, grandiosity, or over-dependence on others.

As we work our recovery, we hear others share their experience, strength, and hope in meetings. Shares might include words or phrases such as “gratitude,” “Higher Power,” and “humility.”

Humility is a state of realizing that we are not in control and that we do not have all the answers. We may learn how turning our control over to our Higher Power can reduce the burdens of self-imposed strain and stress. We can do the work and trust our Higher Power by letting go of the results.

We learn to take actions that are contrary to our learned impulses. We humbly ask for help, knowing that by asking, we are breaking away from our former ties to compulsion and shame. When we honestly admit to ourselves the exact nature of our wrongs, we begin to develop humility, honesty, and integrity so that we can become the people we wish to be.

Through practicing humility, we become “right-sized” — neither grandiose nor self-deprecating.

Legal Outreach

The following is a sample letter that SCA Los Angeles uses to let the local legal system know about our program. Please help the addict who still suffers by doing some “Outreach” in your area:

May 2024
To Whom It May Concern:
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) is a 12-step program adapted from the 12 Steps of
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). SCA has had a relationship with the court systems in Los Angeles
and Orange Counties since SCA’s founding more than forty-five years ago. Our program and
meetings are like those of AA. We are not professionals or educators. We do not offer classes.
We are an anonymous fellowship comprised of members who volunteer their time as trusted
servants to lead 12-step meetings and perform other service work without compensation to keep
SCA operating.
Our 12-step program of recovery offers an opportunity to change for those who identify as
sexually compulsive, as well as those sent to SCA meetings via the courts. We are not group
therapy nor an organization led by licensed professionals specializing in sexual addiction or
compulsion or trauma from cases of sexual abuse.
The only service we provide to members who have been sent by the courts is attendance
verification. In keeping with our 12 Traditions, which govern the structure of SCA, and in
particular the anonymous nature of our program, SCA does not provide any reporting beyond
attendance verification. For example, we do not provide official letters of progress, participation,
or similar reports. Participation during meetings by all attendees is encouraged. However,
participation can come in many forms. For some, participating means simply attending a
meeting, either in person or via Zoom. For others, it may include sharing, being of service, or
some combination of these items.
Pursuant to our 12 Traditions, each of our meetings is autonomous, deciding whether and how
it provides attendance verification. For our in-person meetings, we generally provide a signature
on a piece of paper, often called a “court card,” with the name and date of the meeting attended.
For our Zoom meetings, we may provide another form of verification, such as an email or
electronic signature on a PDF court card. It is the responsibility of each attendee seeking
verification to track his, her, or their attendance. In furtherance of our principle of anonymity,
we do not maintain membership lists or track attendance for any attendee.
At the end of the day, our hope for those sent by the courts is that they have positive experiences
that free them from sexually compulsive behavior. If you have any questions about an attendee’s
participation or progress, it is best to ask the individuals themselves about what they learned or
gained from attending SCA meetings. We would be disappointed to learn that someone sent to
our meetings was punished because our program, given its nature, does not provide progress
reports or certificates of participation.
If you have any further questions, you can call us at 323-570-2659 or email us at
court@scalosangeles.org.

for pdf version: Court letter 2024

Two or More local or regional SCA meetings can have an Intergroup

Each meeting should elect and send a representative to the regularly scheduled Intergroup meeting (the third Saturday of each month for the Los Angeles SCA Inergroup). If your meeting does not have a representative, this is a great opportunity to step up and be of service. Add your voice to the discussion and carry the message back to your individual meetings. Questions about intergroups can be sent to intergroup@scalosangeles.org