Thursday, November 14th
“Safe at home” did not apply to my relationship; I felt hopelessly trapped.
As time passes, relationships can change character. What may have started as love, affection, and sexual intimacy might unravel. Sometimes, this deterioration happens quickly. We may discover that we never were or are no longer compatible with the person, or we may become attracted to another.
For some, a reluctance to admit defeat may cause us to compromise our values to satisfy the other person’s demands. Our efforts to appease them can consume us, leading to shame, resentment, and a loss of intimacy.
We might try to sustain a relationship by “fixing” the other person’s problems. But by doing so, we often ignore our needs, which can create resentment, anger, and a sense of low self-esteem. We may try to escape these feelings by acting out our sexual compulsion, putting additional strains on the relationship. We feel trapped in co-dependency but afraid to leave it.
In recovery, we may learn acceptance by letting go of our self-will and the need to control. With our Higher Power’s help and the support of others, we can make choices and find the courage to take needed actions. We no longer try to sustain the unsustainable.
By letting go, we find relief — a feeling of lightness.