Wednesday, August 14th
I tried to cover up my constant pursuit of sex. The thought of telling the truth scared me.
Many of us lied to family, friends, and partners about our sexual compulsion. This need to separate our sexual behaviors from the rest of our lives increased our stress and contributed to our belief that we were unlovable.
For some, dishonesty became ingrained enough to be a source of shame in early recovery. We wanted to tell our stories and ask others for help, but we feared humiliation, judgment, and even ridicule. Dishonesty may have become a defense mechanism, as opposed to an active attempt to deceive.
“I recall sharing at one of my first meetings. There was so much I could have said, but I was scared. I blushed when my time was up.”
Practicing rigorous honesty in sharing can help us. Honesty begins to break the bubble of denial. Our urge to withhold can lead to roadblocks in our recovery. If we cannot build trust in our Higher Power and our fellow members, we might miss the spiritual growth that often comes from letting go.
With the help of the program and our Higher Power, we can take an honest look at ourselves and release our shame.
Compulsion thrives in secrecy; we take action to break that cycle.