Friday, December 27th
Sex had taken over my life. I could not control my acting out, but the truth is, I didn’t want to.
Many of us were in denial about our sexual compulsion. As the disease progressed, we began to bargain with ourselves, hoping to find ways of controlling our behaviors. Whatever rules we set, we eventually broke, causing shame. Yet, we remained fascinated and excited by those activities, and we secretly did not want to stop. For many, sex had become more of a ritual and less of a choice.
When we first heard Step One read at a meeting, many of us equated powerlessness with helplessness. Admitting powerlessness and unmanageability begins the process of letting go of denial. By facing our truth, we come to realize that this acceptance offers hope that we are not helpless.
By admitting our powerlessness, we open ourselves to accepting a power greater than our own self-will. As we begin to trust in our Higher Power, we surrender our need to control. We are not and never were helpless. By learning acceptance and trust, we gain knowledge of our Higher Power’s will for us. It strengthens our spirituality and nourishes our recovery.
Letting go has given me the freedom to make choices.