Thursday, December 26th
I desperately wanted to act out. Calling my sponsor and attending a meeting reminded me that I had choices.
As sexual compulsives, many of us spent much of our time and energy pursuing excitement and validation through sex, obsession, and fantasy.
Upon entering recovery, we create a Sexual Recovery Plan. We identify our “bottom line” behaviors — those activities we find particularly harmful.
Initially, we may struggle to stay off our bottom lines through self-control. Yet, the desire to control our behaviors can be demoralizing, even painful. We may not find relief until we accept the concept of “letting go,” placing trust in the recovery process aided by our Higher Power.
Still, we may experience times when the compulsion returns, often unexpectedly. Our disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful, always seeking new ways to trick us into submission.
In recovery, we might begin to recognize the warning signs: resentments pop up, euphoric recall sets in, we start to rationalize acting out, or we feel entitled to a reward for our hard work.
To prevent a slip, we can take actions, such as calling our sponsor, “book-ending,” making a program call, attending a meeting, choosing some service, or another activity.
If we slip, we can share about it and quickly reconnect to the program.