Friday, November 22nd
Working Step Eight made me realize how much I had harmed myself.
Many of us may feel uncomfortable when we approach Steps Eight and Nine. We might resent how the texts in these Steps suggest we compile lists and make amends to others. Perhaps we associate these Steps with humiliation and punishment.
In Step Four, we made a truthful moral inventory, and in Step Five, we admitted the exact nature of our wrongs to ourselves, to our Higher Power, and to another. Now, we might envision standing before someone we had wronged, being judged, and bowing our heads in humiliation.
Recovery is not a process of humiliation, nor is it about asking others to pardon us; it is about healing. We cannot change the past. Making amends to others, including ourselves, lightens the burdens we may have carried for years. Forgiving ourselves and others can help us accept the present. We can restore relationships and release our feelings of shame.
Many of us experienced resentment and low self-esteem in our compulsion. Working the Steps can help build trust in a Higher Power, enabling us to change our outlook and behaviors. By letting go of past harms, we begin to accept who we are in the present.
I cleaned up my past wreckage, made amends, forgave others, and forgave myself.