Monday, September 2nd

Healthy sexuality can be fun and playful; compulsive sexuality is often grim and joyless.

The pursuit of sex seemed almost mindless for many of us: we acted out because we fixated on compulsive sex to escape our negative feelings. No matter what excitement or danger we sought, the high soon faded, leaving us feeling empty and needy. For many, sex had become ritualized: it was something we just did.

In our Sexual Recovery Plan, we try to define what healthy sexuality means to us. We can start by identifying the unhealthy or harmful behaviors we wish to stop. We then try to visualize our ideal sexuality and explore how to replace our old behaviors with healthy, affirming ones.

Working our recovery may help clarify what healthy sexuality is for us and how to achieve it. We begin to let go of things that can hold us back: desperation, dishonesty, selfishness, willfulness, and self-hatred. We can replace them with honesty, openness, willingness, compassion, and self-love. By learning to love and esteem ourselves, we can do the same with others.

With the help of our Higher Power, we can experience authentic sexual expression. We can celebrate our progress and not regret our mistakes or setbacks.

Healthy sexuality rejoices in the variety of imperfection; compulsive sexuality demands perfection.