Thursday, August 15th
My first three Steps: admitting I needed help, asking for help, and beginning to accept that help.
Most of us associate the word “surrender” with defeat, as in, “I give up!” That expression has a finality about it — the end of a story. But our story does not end there. We joined SCA because we wanted relief from sexually compulsive activity that was often repetitive, mindless, and harmful.
We seek recovery when we realize that no amount of sex will ever fill our emptiness or make our lives magically free from everyday irritations. We begin to see that all previous efforts to fill that emptiness failed.
“I admitted that I had never controlled the disease and that I had to let go before it killed me.”
The benefits of “turning over” or “letting go” can be summarized simply: Let go or be dragged. What is it that we are letting go of? We are letting go of our false belief that compulsive sex will somehow enable us to escape those things we fear encountering.
Reading the first three Steps suggests that we surrender. Surrendering does not mean we give up. In fact, we are turning over our control to a power greater than ourselves and learning to trust this power to guide us to change our behaviors and expand our lives.
The process of surrender never ends. I am graced with a daily reprieve.