Saturday, July 27th
My anger was my Higher Power.
Sometimes, feelings of anger — both at ourselves or toward others — overwhelmed us. As children, some of us had caregivers who never let us express anger. Often, we carried this repression into our adult lives. We may have turned inward, where our anger and resentment took the form of self-hatred.
Sometimes, these feelings drove us to seek refuge through the numbness and the escape we might have found in compulsive sex. However, despite our attempts to medicate those feelings, we became lonelier, angrier, and sadder.
“I was angry that I did not have the courage to face the reality of a failed relationship. I took out my anger by having abusive sex with strangers.”
As we attend meetings, we may benefit from witnessing the recovery of others. We see them endure great adversity or enjoy great success without slipping into compulsive behaviors. We become able to stop seeing ourselves as victims. Instead, we learn that we can take responsibility for our lives with the help and grace of our Higher Power.
We may become willing to right-size our resentments, anger, and fears while learning to forgive others and, most importantly, forgive ourselves. It is one way to practice acceptance.
Our lives will become manageable, and we will experience increasing serenity and recovery.