Program buddy

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

by Richard K., SCA-San Luis Obispo, CA

A
lot is said in meetings and in
the SCA literature about the
value of having a Sponsor —
no disputing that at all! But sometimes getting a Sponsor isn’t all that
easy. Many Sponsors are so much in
demand that they just can’t take on
any more Sponsees. Or perhaps some
of us in the Program are a little reluctant to make the commitment of getting a “formal” Sponsor for whatever
reason. Or maybe we have a Sponsor, but need a little something else.
especially if our Sponsor has a
schedule which makes contact difficult when the need might be the
greatest.

One solution is as simple as it is
obvious. One might call him/her
(we’ll use “him” from now on for
simplicity only) a “Program Buddy”
— a person we connect with particularly well in a meeting. Our
Higher Power has a way of setting up
just such connections, although sometimes we choose to ignore Him and
miss out on a great opportunity. But
once such a connection is made,
there comes a mutual opening-up on
the part of each person — slowly — a
building up of mutual trust.

Of course, building up of trust in
others (and in ourselves) is one of the
main reasons for going to meetings,
but sometimes a deeper intimacy is
also very beneficial. Especially if
this intimacy results in a non-addictive, non-sexual relationship, even
though a strong sexual attraction
might be there just waiting to screw
the whole thing up. Our addict has a
way of setting up smoke screens of
just such attractions, but we can
choose to fight that One way is by
talking to our Buddy about these feelings openly; sometimes more than
once. Most of the time, that will
defuse the addict in us and let us see
the spiritual, non-sexual, physical
side of him.

This relationship can have all the
advantages of a Sponsor/Sponsee
relationship, but on an even more intimate basis, and, probably, on a
more available basis. And
availability is crucial many times to
avoid a slip, or to keep from beating
ourselves up over a slip, or to be able
to dump our feelings when those feelings are right there — not something
which was there a couple of hours or
days ago.

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Sexual Compulsives Anonymous International Service Organization