New York retreat nearly sold out

The Summer SCA New York Retreat will be held on Friday, September 9th through Sunday, September 11th. 

This retreat will focus on the “Tools of Recovery.” It will deepen our understanding and relationship to the suggested tools of the program. The three workshops at the summer retreat will focus on the following tools of the program: Meetings, The Telephone, Sponsorship, Service, A Sexual Recovery Plan & Abstention.

SCA New York offers two retreats each year: winter and summer. Each retreat is two nights and three days (Friday to Sunday) at the Incarnation Center, a tranquil retreat facility in the woods in Ivoryton, CT. The retreats are reasonably priced at $225 and are subsidized by SCA NY fundraisers, and a scholarship fund supported by your generous donations. 

 What to expect on the retreat: fellowship; games; laughter; free time; nature walks; a creativity salon; moments of quiet reflection; meetings and workshops focused on the steps and recovery tools; swimming in the lake during summer and sledding and fires during the winter; and an opportunity to strengthen program friendships and develop new ones. All workshops, meetings, and scheduled events are optional.



Sunday Funday and other Los Angeles news

SCA fellowship in the second Sunday of the month (Sunday Funday) has started.  Next meet-up is Sunday September 11, always starting at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Wilshire and Vermont for coffee and whatever activity people choose.  Look for a sunflower to identify the group.
SCA Los Angeles is looking for a web designer for our webpage, someone knowledgeable in wordpress.  Intergroup has some budget to pay for the web re-design, although a member who wants to volunteer would be great.  Contact Christian M.
Gary S from intergroup could use help with outreach about SCA to therapists and recovery houses.  No cold calls – it’s just emailing form letter; you can do it from home.  Contact Gary S.
ISO also needs a volunteer to be Western Regional Coordinator, which is a fancy title for someone willing to keep in touch with meetings in places where there is no Intergroup (for example, San Diego).  The function is to be a conduit for information (such as when new literature is developed) for folks who are running meetings, isolated from the resources of bigger fellowships, like ours.  Contact Dave A.
Lastly, LA will host the ISO meeting  in March of next year.  LA needs to put together a host committee.  ISO a relatively small meeting, only about 15 people who will develop their own agenda, so the host committee’s work is a lot simpler than putting on a convention or retreat.    Contact Rich K if you’re interested in helping out or if you know of a facility with a conference room for 15. 

Registration open for New York winter retreat

Winter 2014 Retreat: The Sexual Recovery Plan

The winter New York retreat (open to all members of the fellowship, regardless of where you are from) will be held February 21st, 22nd & 23rd. Registration is now available here.

General Information:

  • The retreat is 2 nights, 3 days – it starts with a Friday dinner/meeting and ends with Sunday lunch and a Gratitude Meeting.
  • There are recovery workshops, meetings, a traditional Saturday night creativity hour and game of Charades, plus plenty of quiet time to spend with yourself or friends as you please.
  • The Incarnation Center is a beautiful quiet retreat facility off in the woods near Ivoryton, CT. It has a petting zoo nearby with lots of cool farm animals (llamas, alpacas, etc.). There are roaring stone fireplaces during the winter and a beautiful lake just down the hill with hiking trails surrounding it. During the summer one can swim in the lake with all sorts of activities. 
  • By all reports the food is great, with all your meals provided for, including vegetarian options.
  • All persons have their own private room.  Most have shared bathrooms (recently renovated and very nice, with private stalls for showers and toilets), although a few (usually reserved for the women) have private bathrooms.  All the rooms are nice and all are assigned randomly.  Please no requests!
  • There is limited space, so send in your registration quickly. The retreat sells out fast, and a waiting list is then created.
  • For transporation information please check the registration form. Some people drive up themselves or come up in a carpool, however most people ride up as a group from Grand Central on the Metro North train (New Haven stop on the New Haven line). This train ticket is not included in your retreat cost.  It’s currently $32.50 round trip, price subject to change of course. Please see the registration form for details.
  • The retreats are always reasonably priced, subsidized by SCA NY fundraisers,  a scholarship fund, and generous donations from SCA NY members who can afford to help others.  Thank you for your contributions!

SCA Blue Book for sale in iBooks

Apple has approved the Blue Book for sale in its iTunes bookstore. Apple now joins Google Play and Amazon Kindle as places where the Blue Book can be purchased for download. The web address is:

Google and Amazon also offer other SCA literature, and we hope to expand our offerings in the Apple store in the future.

In service,

John F., electronic publishing volunteer, Fiduciary Committee

Recovery weekend in Paris

DASA, the French version of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, will be holding its seventh annual convention on Oct. 19-20 in Paris. It will offer workshops, speaker meetings, a cafeteria, a meditation space, and literature. While it will mostly be conducted in French, there will be one 90-minute meeting in English on Saturday, Oct. 19, at 4 pm. 

DASA, which offers meetings daily in French and has occasionally had English-language meetings, requests an admission fee of 15 euros for the conference. More information is at

A visit to Berlin

It was Friday the 13th and my flight to Berlin was about to take off. I’m not superstitious, but …

I’m the regional coordinator for SCA’s International Service Organization for Europe, the Middle East and Africa (or EMEA). What that means is that if anyone (individual member, meeting, or intergroup) has an issue with ISO, I’m the liaison. I’m fortunate to live in Paris, and I’ve been to meetings in Belgium and the U.K. (though the London meetings have since folded). I’ve corresponded by e-mail with people from throughout the EMEA region, but I had never been to an SCA meeting in Berlin.

There are four meetings there now, all conducted in German, a language I studied a bit in high school and college, but that was a long time ago. I knew there was a Friday evening meeting at the gay community center, Mann-O-Meter, but just a week earlier I had sent an e-mail to some locals telling them I’m planning to come — with no response. Well, actually, I did get a reply from Wayne, who used to be our Oslo contact and then moved to Berlin … but his reply was that he was moving permanently to Barcelona and would not be in Berlin.

So I had no idea what to expect. I hoped the meeting would be held as scheduled, at 6 pm, and my hotel was a five-minute walk away. So I got there about 5:30 and walked around the neighborhood a bit. It turned out that it was the weekend of the Berlin Folsom Street Fair, a tiny version of the San Francisco event, and some people asked me if I was in town for the wild parties. No …

So back to Mann-O-Meter, which was quite a nice place. It has a small bar with snacks and drinks at very reasonable prices, free Wi-Fi, and of course all the normal listings of events. It also has a meeting room off to the side, which was empty at 5:55, and no sign of anyone who might be waiting to enter. Sigh.

But just then there was some commotion. Somebody went over to the welcome desk and exchanged a few words of welcome in German, picked up some literature, and entered the meeting room. A couple of others joined him, so I went in, making four of us. I said I would be speaking in English, which one of them, replying in English, said would be fine. Soon the meeting began with a Serenity Prayer, Statement of Purpose, and all the recognizable form of an SCA meeting anywhere, but in German. I found it quite comforting to pass around a Four-Fold with the Steps, even though I didn’t read aloud. Soon a fifth member joined us, and we did a reading from the Little Blue Book on the Sexual Recovery Plan. I was able to follow along with their pamphlet, and even though I didn’t understand a lot of the words, I was familiar enough with the literature that I knew what was happening.

At one point during the meeting the chair admonished a member not to read a news magazine while others were sharing, that the focus of the meeting was SCA and not what was happening outside the rooms. The member put his magazine away, and we all said a Serenity Prayer and resumed. In the middle of the hour, we collected a Seventh Tradition and heard announcements. I mentioned that I was the European liaison from ISO. Someone had an anniversary and we all applauded. No different from other meetings I’ve been to.

There were some variants, of course. Only part of the literature has been translated. The Four-Fold has been split into two pamphlets, sold at 20 cents each. I bought one of everything they had, including the part of the Little Blue Book about the recovery plan and a translation of For the Newcomer. They have a committee working on more translations, which I have been in touch with. Their website is

At the end of the meeting, another Serenity Prayer. Then the treasurer tallied up the Seventh Tradition contributions and recorded them in a ledger. We shook hands and said our goodbyes, some in German, some in English. It was a good start to a good and sober weekend.

In service,

John F. 

Sponsorship Workshop in L.A.

  • What Is Sponsorship About?
  • How Do I Get A Sponsor? 
  • Am I Ready To Be A Sponsor?

“Sponsorship is two people with the same problem helping each other to work the Program.” (Tools That Help Us Get Better)

SATURDAY, January 12, 2013
1:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.
7377 Santa Monica Blvd.
Art Room 1
West Hollywood, CA 90046
(Park in North lot, workshop is at South end of park)

Please Bring:

  • Large Spiral ring notebook
  • Pen / pencil

Donation: $5.00
Suggested donation to pay for materials. None turned away for lack of funds. Net proceeds go to SCA / LA Intergroup.


More Info:

This workshop is for the Newcomer, Returning Member or any Member who is interested in finding a sponsor, or exploring the possibility of sponsoring other recovering Sexual Compulsives, Sex Addicts or Love Addicts.

12-Step Retreat in New York

The following information was provided by the organizers of the retreat, which is not affiliated with SCA, although some members do plan to attend. We provide this information in the spirit of recovery.

Practicing the 12 Step Prayers
We Sought Through Prayer & Meditation…

includes private room, 
materials, & all meals
Little Portion Friary
48 Old Post Road,
Mt. Sinai, NY 11766

– Retreat begins –
Friday November 16th
at 6:30 PM
– to –
Sunday November 18th
at lunch

Little Portion Friary is located about 60 miles east of New York City on the north shore of Long Island.


By Train | LIRR

to Port Jefferson Station
We support your journey by offering our home as a place for prayer, reflection, retreats, meetings of all kinds, weddings, spiritual growth, engagement and rest. 
We hope that you’ll find 
Little Portion a place where you can be yourself. We’re committed to supporting you in finding your way to a 
joyous spirituality. 


Got Prayer?


Join us for a weekend of reflection that will recognize recovery turning points, build fellowship, and add to (or, refresh) your spiritual toolkit.


Please join us if you…

  • are in any of the 12-Step programs, from your first 90 days to many years, no matter where you are in step work;
  • have a prayer practice, or don’t; or, are “acting as if;”
  • are curious (or, afraid);
  • are spiritual, but not religious.

During the weekend, we will explore the four prayers that mark major “turning points” in 12 Step recovery: the Serenity Prayer and the Third, Seventh and Eleventh Step Prayers.


Throughout the weekend, we will spend time together in prayer and reflection, recognizing these turning points, sharing our experience, strength and hope, and discussion. 


Some of the types of prayer we will practice together during the retreat will include meditation, labyrinth walks, contemplative journaling, soulcollage artwork, and deep listening.


No matter what step you’re on, or how long you’ve been in program (and, whatever your relationship is to prayer), join us to deepen your experience with these essential “turning point” prayers of surrender, service and transformation.


Please click on the link below to RSVP or register…
Don’t hesitate to be in touch with any questions or thoughts before registering.

Led by Paul Kimmerling & Br. Mark D’Alessio, SSF


Paul Kimmerling is a spiritual director, corporate trainer and 12-step practitioner. He has designed and led a number of workshops on contemplative and active approaches to spiritual development and personal growth, in areas such as Centering Prayer, Forgiveness, Personal Transition, and Career as Vocation. In May 2013 he is taking ten people to Assisi, Italy for a spiritual retreat and is currently developing a mindfulness-based wellness program for the workplace.


Br. Mark D’Alessio, SSF, is a Franciscan friar, spiritual director, author, and past President and Executive Director of the Psychotherapy & Spirituality Institute. Br. Mark has a particular interest in the science and spirituality of applied imagination, a vocation that has spanned two decades and several continents. A Lifetime Colleague of the Creative Education Foundation and past faculty member of their global institute, he has helped, among others, government officials, community leaders, business people, educators, artists, and clergy, with leadership development, fostering innovation, and managing change. Recently he was blessed to serve both the Office of the Presiding Bishop and Forward Movement on cultivating cultures of creativity for the Episcopal Church. A graduate and former steering committee member of the Guild for Spiritual Guidance, Br. Mark is the co-author of the training text, The Imagination of Leadership.