Tradition Four tells us that each meeting is autonomous except in matters that may affect the entire fellowship and maybe dilute the message of recovery. In this sometimes quirky report from across the country, members from LA, NY, St. Louis, Milwaukee, Chicago and Washington DC report on some of the local differences that make their meetings peculiar to their region even though they are still true to the SCA message and uphold Tradition Four.
Chicago has about 6 weekly meetings, one for each day of the week, except Wednesday. Most meet at the Newtown Alano Club in Lakeview near "Boystown", the gay area, but one meeting is on the South Side of Chicago (might be kind of analogous to Queens or Brooklyn as compared to Manhattan).
The Sunday meeting is especially popular, and it meets at a church also in Lakeview.
Meetings are 90 minutes in length, and all are closed. None have specific topics (like dating, anger). All follow basically the same format. The meetings start with the serenity prayer, followed by intergroup report, treasurer's report, and other business. Some meetings have alternating 'leads' (our term for 'qualification') and readings from Hope and Recovery. Others alternate leads and a topic chosen from a bag of scrap papers on which members have written topics (like dating, sponsorship, recovery plan, etc.). Most meetings have untimed shares after a break.
The Sunday evening meeting has timed shares; timing is determined by the number of people present. Most meetings close with the serenity prayer, but Sunday has a special prayer of its own. We say, "Keep coming back, it works if you work it sober" instead of "... if you work it, so work it you're worth it".
Sunday: 10am Hollywood. A very popular meeting in a recovery center. We sit in their living room area and have a speaker/12-step share and round robin sharing. Almost every meeting in LA is in this format with a few exceptions. Some meetings call on speakers to share.
Sunday: 5pm Silverlake. This is an 11th step meditation meeting at the home of one of our members. It is a small group, but they love it!!
Wednesday: 6:15pm Hollywood. This is our Dating/Relationship meeting. and it is one of our few CLOSED meetings.
Tuesday: 10am Hollywood. This is one of our 2 morning meetings
Tuesday: 6pm Long Beach. This is a feelings/topics discussion group. They have a step study first Tuesday of the month
Wednesday: 8pm Hollywood. A sharing meeting. Round robin, no clapping, except at the end.
Thursday: 8pm Hollywood. This is our Recovery Plan meeting, where the focus is on writing a sex plan. This is a good meeting for the newcomer.
Saturday: 8pm Hollywood. Meditation and check-in for sobriety. It is candlelit and very nice, yet small.
There are currently four SCA meetings in Milwaukee. Three of these meetings alternate weekly between the 12 Steps and a lead or a topic. The remaining meeting does a topic or lead each week. Attendance at the meetings ranges from four or five members upward to fifteen or even twenty. Meetings begin with readings from program material such as How it Works, The Twelve Steps, The Characteristics, etc. Then there's a reading or a lead, and then the floor is open for shares. We rarely time shares, but ask that everyone be responsibly brief. Meetings generally last an hour and a half.
A year or so ago some SCA members found that the First Step Meeting seemed overwhelming for newcomers, and that they weren't getting the information they needed right away. So we created a Newcomer's Meeting with a reading that explained clearly and simply how the program works and what tools we use. The readings we use include The Twenty Questions and The Characteristics, if they aren't read at the beginning of the meeting. The Newcomer's Meeting has been very successful.
Saturday 12:00pm Bisexual Issues for All. Round robin format. Some attendees are bisexual and talk about those issues as it relates to their recovery. I found it to be an open forum to discuss any issues that pertain to sexual addiction.
Saturday 2:00pm Committed Relationships. An opportunity for addicts to talk about their addiction issues while being in a committed relationship with someone and/or themselves. Open to all.
Saturday 5:00pm Incest and Childhood Sexual Abuse. Follows the usual format of qualification and sharing. The last few minutes of the meeting are reserved for everyone to say an affirmation about themselves or their life that they would like to make real for themselves.
Saturday 7:45pm Characteristics Meeting. The qualification is based on one of the fourteen characteristics of SCA.
Sunday 1:00pm Intimacy: The intention of the meeting is to provide a space where people can discuss their struggles with obtaining and sustaining intimacy with another person and themselves. Meeting begins with a qualification (a 15-20 minute share, where the speaker shares his/her experience, strength and hope of the program).
Sunday 3:15pm 9th and 10th Characteristics. This meeting allows explicit language.
Sunday 5:00pm Higher Power Workshop. A meeting that includes two ten-minute periods of silence, one at the beginning and one at the end. Open shares with no qualification. Very meditative.
Sunday 5:00pm Dating Workshop. The qualification focuses on the challenges of dating while being in recovery. One need not be dating to attend.
Monday 6:15pm AA Big Book. This meeting reads a page at a time from the AA Big Book. Sharing then focuses on the page read.
Wednesday 5:45pm Romantic Obsession. For anyone who has either harbored and suffered from romantic obsessions and/or has been the object of someone else's romantic obsession. Begins with a qualification.
Wednesday 7:30pm Creativity. This meeting uses the book The Artist's Way as a basis. The ten principles of creativity from the book are read out loud, among other things at the beginning of the meeting. Sharing focuses on how creativity and acting out can complement one another.
Tuesday 6:00pm Beginner's Tools. Each week different pertinent 12-step tools are discussed (usually about three a week), including what sponsorship means, understanding and usefulness of slogans, the value of reading literature to stay sober, and practicing prayer and meditation on a regular basis. Other tools discussed include meetings, the use of the telephone, the 12 Steps, the sexual recovery plan, abstention, socializing, dating, and service.
Thursday 8:00pm 4th Step Recovery Workshop. At the beginning of the meeting general directions of the 4th step inventory are read. Then twenty minutes is devoted to writing answers to 4th Step questions pertaining to one's childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. (There are pre-prepared questions given to participants.) After the writing period, participants may read what they have written. Sharing is optional.
Friday 6:15pm Integrating Healthy Sexuality. This meeting uses Patrick Carnes' book, Don't Call It Love as a basis for seeking healthy sexuality. The 15 Characteristics of Healthy Sexuality are read out at the beginning of the meeting, and there is a one-minute check-in on one of the Characteristics
Friday 7:30pm Anger. A very useful meeting, particularly for the 'anger anorexic' that gives addicts an opportunity to talk about their anger. Along with the 12 steps, a list of characteristics specific to people who tend to avoid dealing with their anger is read. People learn the importance of expressing anger, as well as sexuality, in a healthy way.
St Louis has 9 weekly meetings.
Monday evening we have a Newcomers meeting where there are speakers and presentations on Steps 1,2 and 3.
Wednesday we have a Step Study meeting. This uses a variety of formats. Generally we use A Gentle Path through the 12 Steps by Patrick Carnes as a basis, but we've used a wide variety of formats including having speakers, meditation meetings, music therapy, recovery tapes, etc. We always include a general check-in and a 3-5 minute meditation as part of the format. Generally there is time for individual writing, and small group work as well.
Friday night is a very well-attended topic meeting with general sharing.
Sunday night is a speaker meeting, where we rotate the topic from a Step, Sexual Recovery Plan, My Story and Speaker's Choice.
Monday: Steps 1-3. The meeting alternates between reading Hope and Recovery on the step (spending two weeks on Step 1, because it is so long) and having a member qualify on the step, followed by sharing. After Step 3 they cycle back to Step 1.
Thursday: Topics in recovery. The meeting leader comes prepared with a topic each week, and people share for the entire meeting on that topic. Sometimes the leader will share on the topic to open the meeting, and sometimes the leader will pass around a section of the literature that's on the topic to be read before sharing begins. But, other times the topic will be announced, and the leader will wait for someone to raise their hand to do the first share. Members are encouraged to share on the topic, but a share on anything people need to talk about to stay sober is fine.
Sunday: Round-robin. The room is arranged in two rows that go along three walls of the room. The leader sits in front, along the fourth wall. After initial readers, a person sitting in the inner row volunteers to share first, and the turn passes around the inner circle, then goes to the outer circle. When there are 15 minutes left, the leader begins to call on people by a raising of hands. Since this is an end-of-weekend meeting, the shares tend to focus on getting current about the events of the weekend and how the members are feeling.