In an effort to continue to expand the appeal and the contribution base of the SCAnner, we begin this in issue a new column still called Food for Thought. This column will include contributions from you, the reader, from around the country and maybe around the world. It will offer you an opportunity to share those special thoughts about program that sometimes seem too wonderful not to be shared with everyone, everywhere, and will allow me to ask people to write about topics that may not otherwise be put forward. Our first contribution is a point in fact. Continuing the theme of meetings, I asked Phideaux X, a New Yorker, who has been living in LA for the last 18 months, to write about the differences between meetings in NY and LA. Phideaux wrote his piece in the form of a letter.
Greetings from Los Angeles to my comrades in New York. Though I don't know all of you, I love you in a very special way and I miss you. I've been in LA now for these past 18 months and though I had a little relapse, I'm now coming up on a year on my plan, (my first time!). However, don't worry about me, because LA has lots of lovely meetings and a terrific group of SCA brothers and sisters - the deepest, most generous, inspiring and bravest folks I've ever met (excepting, of course, all of you).
You may be wondering about our customs here in Los Angeles. First, the notorious reports of "clapping" are true. It is a tradition in Southern California to clap after each individual person shares! It's been explained to me that this is to encourage and support the newcomer as well as the addict who still suffers. I had mistakenly thought it was due to some theatrical element - you know, Hollywood, the Oscars (although New York does have the Friday night so-called "Academy Awards" beginners meeting where clapping for day counts and surrender chips can be rather fervent).
One difference I've noticed in Los Angeles is that there are fewer SCA meetings (average 2-3 per day vs. 5-8 for NY). However, there is a plus side to this: I always know I will see many of the same people at each meeting and that makes me feel like I am part of a close-knit fellowship. Of course, people ask me if I don't miss the more relaxed New York meeting formats and I must confess the answer is "yes". Happily LA has a New York style meeting every Monday. I suggest you check out the sample meeting formats in the blue book to note the differences. (I frequently tease my California colleagues that the reason there's so much reading and script here because of LA's many frustrated writers and actors.)
Perhaps the hardest adjustment to Los Angeles for me to make was in the celebration of 'anniversaries'. Here, we present cakes with candles and serenade the members on their anniversary. However, this day is referred to as their "birthday" and you even have to be careful in meetings to stipulate 'natal birthday' if you are referring to that other day - you know, the one when you were born. I did not think I could ever let go of my negative judgement of this custom. I preferred the rituals of New York, where we give chips and friends brought you flowers. But, now that I've let go of all judgments, I eagerly sing and I'm even looking forward to celebrating my own anniversary - I mean, birthday - in Los Angeles.
While we're on the subject of chips and sobriety milestones, there's another curious and wonderful thing they do in Los Angeles. When you "take" a chip, you automatically get to share how you came to get it this time. It can be quite inspiring for those who are still struggling to hear the gratitude that often accompanies a milestone of this nature.
Writing this letter makes me realize just how wonderful Los Angeles SCA is. It's a tremendous celebration of spirit and a true fellowship where I believe we really try to inspire and encourage the newcomer. So, you may ask, why do I miss New York SCA? Aside from the diversity of membership in New York and greater participation from women and heterosexual men, the one thing I pine for is the Saturday 5 p.m. Incest and Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors meeting, my spiritual home group! One advantage to having a larger membership is you can support specialized meetings. Just a quick perusal of the New York meeting list illustrates this: Romantic Obsession, 4th Step Writing Workshop, Integrating Healthy Sexuality, Bisexual Issues for All, Higher Power Workshop, and the 9th & 10th characteristics (the infamous graphic language permitted meeting). It's like a weekly SCA conference!
Well, I've got to go now, otherwise I'm going to be late for a meeting (which is frowned upon here in LA). But I can't wait until I can visit you all in New York. And maybe some of you will decide to come out for our 1999 conference next February. I'll keep you posted!
Fondly, Phideaux X.