Bits and Pieces

SAA Syracuse hosted a weekend conference in March 1995, with workshops, and most specially two meetings between the four major "S" fellowships: SCA, SAA, SLAA and SA. The purpose of these meetings were to explore the possibility of the regional "S" groups (NJ, NY and New England, so far) to coordinate 12th Step, or outreach activities so that we in the fellowship can fulfill our primary function as stated in Tradition 5: "Each group has but one purpose - to carry its message to the sexual compulsive who still suffers."

Friday night we had a meeting at which were about 24 participants, most of whom were either from the Syracuse area or were from out of town and staying at the hotel (the Quality Inn).

There was a most honored guest speaker, Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., with whom we shared Saturday morning.

Dr. Carnes was asked what makes, in his experience, the strongest recovery with the least likelihood of relapse. He said there were seven processes, that if practiced, made for the most solid recovery. These are:

1. Individual therapy in addition to 12-Step meetings.
2. Group therapy in addition to 12-step meeting. This was one of the more important adjuncts to recovery.
3. Going to 12-step meetings.
4. Have a sponsor.
5. Do all the steps. The heaviest emphasis was placed on this process.
6. If there are family issues, and if it is possible, get family involved and supportive at the earliest possible time in recovery.
7. If you are in a relationship, get into a "couples in recovery" group, such as Chapter 9.

He also remarked that we should never delude ourselves and think that we stop going to meetings. We may ease off, and because many of our friends are in program, our life becomes sort of one long meeting, but we will still need to go to meetings, however infrequently.

He reminded us that addiction is a real gift. We get to work on stuff that most people never even look at.

The rest of the day was spent in workshops. I, myself, led one on intimacy which was well attended (about 34). I think there were about 70 participants overall, but I am not sure of that figure. We came from as far as the East End of Long Island, to South Jersey to Buffalo. All four "S" fellowships were represented, as well as COSA. This included three of us from SCA NY. Other workshops included one for couples, one for women, step meetings, COSA meeting, etc.

The food was passable. For a non-fat Vegan like myself, I had to make special arrangements with the hotel banquet manager, but they were accommodating.

Saturday afternoon and again Sunday morning we had our Regional Intergroup Service meeting. At Saturday's meeting were representatives of the four "S" fellowships, fifteen of us in all. We decided on a name for our group: "Regional Inter-S Service Group," with our mission defined as follows:

"To promote recovery in the Northeast for those still suffering from sexual and relationship addiction and compulsion."

Some of the goals discussed on Saturday were:

• To generate a regional Inter-S fellowship meeting list.
• To reach out to therapists by speaking at County Mental Health Associations or other forums where therapists meet. Inasmuch as some of the members of their respective "S" fellowship live in small towns, it was felt that they could ask other members from other towns to speak in their counties, to preserve everyone's anonymity.
• To coordinate and act as a clearinghouse for regional events: conferences, retreats, etc., so that first, regional members could participate in other fellowships' events, if they are welcome, and second, to try to schedule events at different times, so that the most people who want to could attend the widest variety of events.

An Inter-S fellowship literature order form was suggested.