Saturday, March 7th

Greeting newcomers is a service that affirms us in our recovery journey. 

For some newcomers, merely attending meetings consistently seems like a lot of effort. Many of us come to SCA with deep-seated shame issues. Even if we accept the need to attend meetings, we have difficulty believing we belong anywhere, let alone in a group of people in recovery who seem to be healing and even thriving in their lives.

At first, we may be in denial: “I’m not like these people. There is no way I belong here!”

Perhaps we sit back and listen to others sharing their experience, strength, and hope. Some of the stories may resonate with us. We may also identify with some of the Characteristics. Our fears of being in the “wrong place” or our shame about the reasons we are here may gradually subside.

Often, a newcomer will be grateful to hear “Welcome” to their initial introduction and “Keep coming back” in reply to their first shares.

The rest of us may recall how we felt when we were new to SCA and make a conscious effort to reach out to newcomers and people we do not know. A friendly greeting and a smile are simple, direct ways to make a newcomer feel welcome.

Newcomers are the lifeblood of this fellowship. 

Friday, March 6th

I heard someone speak at my first meeting: they had been sober for 22 years. My first thought was, “I can’t do that — no way!”

It may seem overused, but One Day at a Time is a slogan that makes sense. This saying does not set a high bar on our recovery, nor does it make future promises, like “I’ll never do that again!” We merely commit to staying on our sexual recovery plan today. We may have acted out yesterday. We might do so tomorrow. But we can stay sober today by using the recovery tools we have learned.

Meetings help give us the strength to stop having compulsive sex one day at a time and to reshape our lives in realistic ways. How often have we witnessed a transformation in ourselves and others by just showing up at meetings? We keep coming back because we believe there is a power at meetings greater than our sexual compulsion.

Other tools, such as calling our sponsor or other program members, working one of the Steps, journaling, socializing, and doing service, may help us stay present rather than giving in to the urge of compulsive sex. Gradually, our spiritual life will expand.

What I get is a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of my spiritual condition.