Thursday, December 12th
I was quick to judge other people’s issues. I was afraid to look at my own.
Many of us engaged in compulsive sex to escape negative feelings and to hide from our anxieties and fears. To cover our insecurities, we may have been grandiose, boasting and appearing self-absorbed. We sometimes felt entitled to call out other people’s defects or shortcomings but would take offense if others did the same to us.
Some of us carry these attitudes into recovery. We might feel humiliated by suggestions or advice, even if lovingly given by other members. Yet, we may compensate for our low self-esteem by offering unsolicited advice or correcting others.
As we attend meetings, we hear other members share their experience, strength, and hope. We may gradually realize how much we can identify with the feelings — if not the facts — in their stories. Sharing honestly and openly with others can reduce the shame and sense of low self-worth that we often bring to recovery.
Through acceptance and patience, we learn to be gentle with ourselves and become able to identify with others, replacing judgment with compassion. By doing so, we can let go of the grandiosity and resentments that fuel our compulsion.
We will develop patience and trust for our healing process and continue to benefit from witnessing others recover.