Wednesday, December 11th
I stopped going to meetings and lost myself through compulsive sex for months. I was ashamed to restart my recovery.
Many of us bring our compulsive thinking into recovery. We may become discouraged while struggling to maintain our sobriety. We might encounter obstacles and triggers, which occasionally can lead us to slip from our Sexual Recovery Plan.
Sometimes, we become frustrated and resentful at our Sexual Recovery Plan, at other members, at SCA, or especially at ourselves. By holding on to these resentments and frustrations, we might easily abandon our plan, which can lead to shame and self-pity.
We may hear members speak about the importance of picking ourselves up after a slip. But shame can sometimes steer us away from recovery. Our slip might become a binge that we justify by telling ourselves that we are merely “getting it out of our system.”
After a slip, one way we can work through the frustrations is by reconnecting with the program, particularly by sharing at meetings. We are only as sick as our secrets. If we hold in our feelings, we risk letting our shame and isolation escalate our acting out into long-term compulsion. Talking about our problems and acknowledging the shame reduces their impact and interrupts the compulsive cycle.
I felt lighter after I went back to a meeting, shared my story, and heard, “Keep coming back.”