Thursday, September 26th
My sobriety was simple in a relationship: I was monogamous. But as a single person, I’m conflicted about how to express my sexuality soberly.
We joined SCA because we sought relief from our sexual acting out. In recovery, as we read the Steps, we may become willing to turn over our control to a Higher Power of our understanding. Doing so can provide a foundation for us to let go of our need for compulsive sex and freely choose healthy sex as we define it.
SCA’s Statement of Purpose tells us that we are not here to repress our sexuality but to express it in ways that will not hurt us but affirm us. Some of us might choose to abstain temporarily from sex as a means of harm reduction. In time, we may adjust our recovery plan to include healthy sexual activity.
Some of us might choose to express our sexuality within a relationship. Perhaps we wish to remain single while embracing sexuality lovingly with ourselves and others. Each of us defines what sober sex is for us, whether casual, committed, multi-partnered, or solo: whatever works for us. As our lives expand, we can explore our true sexuality without shame.
Healthy sexuality expands reality; Compulsive sexuality creates a world of unreality.