Friday, March 31st

It is progress, not perfection, and it is one day at a time.

We join the SCA program to seek relief from various forms of sexual compulsion. We each bring our histories, traumas, and character defects into the rooms but are united in trying to find a solution.

There is no right way to work our recovery from sexual compulsion. Many of us work the Steps, hoping to experience a spiritual awakening that will change our behaviors. Many also get support from other members by listening to shares and telling our own stories at meetings.

Nobody has a monopoly on wisdom in SCA or anywhere. We may hear long-time members share their experience, strength, and hope but not identify with them. Perhaps a newcomer shares something that immediately makes sense to us. We learn to “take what we need and leave the rest.”

We take care of ourselves by working the SCA program as best we can: by breaking out of self-isolation and connecting with our Higher Power and with other recovering sexual compulsives. Our lives go from being centered on compulsive sex to being centered on service to ourselves and others.

Our lives gradually improve as we continue to embrace recovery as a way of life.

Living in the solution empowers me.

Thursday, March 30th

I was attending meetings and working with a sponsor, but I didn’t feel like I was making any progress. I wanted to drop out of the program.

As sexual compulsives, we are accustomed to instant gratification. Accordingly, we might expect to find a quick fix to our problems. When we hear others share about their progress, we may increasingly feel that we are somehow failing in our program. We may feel tempted to “compare and despair” about recovery, which weighs upon our self-esteem and may tempt us to act out through compulsive sex.

“I tried to work my recovery, but something was not ‘clicking,’ and I felt that recovery was not working for me.”

We can remind ourselves that our recovery follows our Higher Power’s schedule, not our own. We compare how we used to spend our time versus how we spend it now. We recall the negative consequences we suffered when acting out and ask ourselves if we are currently experiencing those consequences or are free of them.

We consider whether we had any hope of changing our life patterns before joining SCA. Often, we are the last ones to notice our improvement because it can be gradual. When we change our behavior, our spirituality grows, we become more engaged, and our lives continue to change for the better.

The most important thing I have learned is to never give up.